The underestimated value of self-asking
What is the value of a question?
This kind of question is living in my mind for around 24 years. I have been always fascinated by the concept of asking. Asking is a metaphor of our incomplete nature: we understand that we cannot know everything in each context, so we start asking. It is an activity proper of children; they tend to ask continuously about the world that is around them.
Asking means that we want to know more about something. Asking for a direction in order to go in a place, asking for an information in order to know more about an argument, asking for a permission in order to know if it is possible to do something. Knowing more generally has a positive effect of our minds, we feel more relaxed when we know more about a situation. It is sufficient to think about the darkness: we start to move slower and to pay attention to each single sound when we cannot see the whole situation. Often this reduced view of the reality makes us uncomfortable. When we do not have the whole situation under our control, we tend to feel insecure and unsafe. The unknown frightens us, we do not know what is in front of us and we feel threatened by an unclear situation.
I am a very curious person: I try to discover new things all the time. I found out that one of the best way to know my self better is choosing the hardest questions possible to ask to my own mind. It is a very demanding process, but it can bring a lot of benefits. I am strictly convinced that one of the most important and useful aspect of our lives is to make the right questions. It is very simple to give an answer, is just repeating something that you have learned or experienced. Giving our own opinion to another person it may be simple as well; it is a way to describe a situation. In these processes we are helped by our mind or by one of our senses. This happens not only when we are involved in a conversation with another person, but also when we try to make those so complicated speeches to ourselves. Those speeches that we make to our own mind time to time trying to analyze a difficult situation or trying to understand our emotions.
Generally, we tend to give answers to other people so as we give to ourselves. Trying to find a solution, we look for a way to get out to a certain situation or to complete that puzzle that seems to be so puzzling. In this way we try to keep us (and often others) safe. We do not want to worsen the situation off. We try to find the solution that best fit with that problem. And even if that puzzle card does not fit in that place we often try to force it to stay there. Too demanding to find it another spot. “It can be” more the times is enough for us.
But, what if?
Have you ever asked to yourself “what if?” What if a past event, what if a present or a future event. “What if I made that call?” “What if I send this message?” “What if I will apply for that position?” yeah, right: what if? The question. Asking. Making the right questions is one of the best way to fight our worst fears out. It is the best way to force our mind to stop itself wondering and starting to face those problems keep hidden for too much time.
What if would you make yourself uncomfortable with that question? You will find an opportunity. Uncomfortable feeling gives you a route, a way to follow. Most of the times that question mark, which leads you away from your comfort zone it is that miracle which you were waiting for.
It is not simple to face ourselves; we perfectly know which zones we have to avoid in order to not be stuck in unpleasant situations. Asking yourself about yourself it is like lighting your darkness up. In the immediate following moments you will be blind, you will feel weak in that maze of doubts, but it will help you to rethink about your day-to-day life. Doing that you will understand that you do not need several roots anymore. You can plant new seeds in new spots and you can redefine past events as “memories”. That question mark will challenge you in redesign your full of questions maze with new solutions and arising problems.
You do not have to be worried about this furniture, thanks to your new framed memories you can remind yourself that you can overcome each obstacle on your way. Even the most hidden one. Just ask.
Ask to yourself. Ask that question. Play with your fears. Chase your light. Find a way.
So, what if?
